I know my website is mostly me just being a silly billy, so excuse me for the change in tone. My blog is supposed to be a place for ramblings and to put out my feeling to the world, so expect some more serious talking over here!
  I feel like this is a very fitting theme for the first post on my blog. It has been almost a full month since I created this page, and I still haven't written anything at all. In fact, I chose to update other, completely unrelated parts of the website before even touching my blog. This procrastination pattern seems to be taking over complete control of my life, and whats funny (or worrying?) is that I procrastinate even the stuff I actually WANT to do (like writing, for example!). Truth is, I have trouble doing anything that requires any amount of work, and that include my hobbies. That's why update are not so frequent here, I just get really god-damn lazy to do anything at all, and end up doing more "stimulating" stuff, like playing video-games. Stimulation, that's a key word here. You see, my brain has a huge problem when it comes to creative activities: They are just not "entertaining" enough. It's lovely to see how your website looks like when you finish another page, or when you finish writing a new story, but the process to get to the end, the coding and the actual writing, can be very boring and stressful, as you have to solve problems and come up with new ideas. That's work, and I'm a lazy bum. My brain simply refuses to find pleasure in the creative process, and the thought of having to spend time and energy to do something is just dreadful to my head.
  All of this just gets me stuck on an endless spiral of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with everything. Creating something is so fulfilling and divine, it makes me so happy when I actually do it, but I got to really fight myself in order to really get to it. It's kind of depressing. How can one get so lazy they can't even do the stuff they like?
  This feeling also takes over me when it comes to Neocities. I, for the longest time, have been meaning to distance myself from social media like Twitter or Instagram, get away from the algorithmic hellscape, immerse myself in the creative paradise that this little place is. However, as you might guess, the sheer accessibility and easiness of these corporate hellscapes make it just so hard for you to distance yourself from it. I can just wake up and the first thing I do is open up Twitter or Instagram Reels and just absolutely mess up my brain on the first few minutes of my day. Now, when it comes to Neocities, you usually don't access it through your phone. You got to turn on your computer, sit down, and actually pay some attention to what you're doing (so you can ACTUALLY enjoy what you're seeing). That's... work. Just a little bit of it. Actually, it's basically nothing, but it's some (miniscule) amount of work. Compared to just taking your phone and pressing on that shiny 'X' logo, it feels like an insane amount of effort, at least for my brain.
  I really hate the way my head works, but hey, it's just the way it is. I hope that, someday, I can hopefully change this about myself. I like being a little lazy, sure, but this? This is actually worrying, and it's taking too much joy out of my life. Anyways, thanks for reading all of this rambling. Hopefully someone can relate a little to this experience, so that I don't feel like the only absolute loser that goes through this stuff.